It's 2026, and after all the major updates, Night City's arsenal has finally achieved a semblance of balance. Patch 2.1 was the great equalizer, turning the tide from a meta dominated by a few overpowered iconics to a landscape where a street-level D5 Copperhead could compete with a legendary find. Yet, in this new era of relative harmony, some weapons stick out—not for their brilliance, but for their baffling inadequacy. I've scavenged, stolen, and shot my way through every corner of the city, and this is my personal chronicle of the tools that made me wish I'd just used my fists.
Let's start with the Projectile Launch System. A rocket launcher in your arm sounds like the pinnacle of cybernetic badassery, right? I strapped it on, feeling like a walking tank. The first explosion was a thrill. The twentieth? A tedious chore. This piece of cyberware demands complete, unwavering dedication. You must funnel every relevant perk into it to see it one-shot enemies. The problem is, that's all it does. We're in a city of style, of fluid combat where you can blend quickhacks, dashes, and blade work. The PLS locks you into a single, monotonous playstyle. Other arm cyberware, like the Mantis Blades or Monowire, are infinitely more versatile and fun, allowing you to adapt and flow with the chaos of combat. The PLS just makes you a static artillery piece. 😒
Next up, the iconic SMG, The Problem Solver. I found this thing, and the stats looked promising on the surface: a massive 90-round clip and a blazing 33% fire rate boost. I thought I'd found a bullet hose for my berserker build. The reality was a harsh lesson in trade-offs. The iconic modifier that gives you those rounds also cripples the gun's handling and reload speed. Trying to control this thing at anything beyond point-blank range was like wrestling a feral cat. SMGs already struggle with accuracy, and this gun exemplifies that weakness. The only niche I found for it was walking up to a stunned cyberpsycho and holding the trigger until my finger ached. With the right Reflexes perks, it's usable, but why bother when so many other SMGs don't fight you every step of the way?
Then there's Chaos, the pistol that lives up to its name in the worst way. The concept is fantastic: every reload randomizes its damage type, status effect, and crit chance. One moment you're shooting shock rounds, the next you're lobbing poison. In practice, it's a frustrating mess. It's a tech pistol, meaning you need to charge your shots for maximum damage. This inherently slows down your combat rhythm, reducing the number of times you reload and thus limiting the "chaos" factor. More often than not, I'd get stuck with a weak chemical damage roll in the middle of a firefight with a mech. Its base DPS is tragically low, outperformed by common pistols you can buy from any drop. In a game where survivability often hinges on predictable, reliable damage, Chaos is a gamble you simply cannot afford to take.
Carmen, the assault rifle you get for helping the street musicians, is a classic case of an identity crisis. Its unique effect wants you to be a parkour master: run, jump, slide, and get bonuses to handling, damage, and bleeding. It even has +20% crit chance against limbs. This would be incredible on a shotgun or an SMG—weapons built for aggressive, mobile, close-quarters combat. On an assault rifle designed for mid-range engagement? It feels completely disjointed. I spent more time trying to sprint into an optimal position than I did actually aiming down sights. Its other stats are identical to the common DA8 Umbra: low damage, high fire rate. It's not a terrible gun, but its special effect pushes you toward a playstyle that contradicts the weapon's inherent design. So many better, more coherent rifles are just lying around.
The Carnage shotgun. The name promises violence. It delivers... disappointment. It’s a power shotgun that fires a satisfying 10 pellets per shell, and yes, it can hit hard. But everything surrounding that punch is agonizingly slow. The fire rate is a crawl. The reload, shell by painful shell, feels like an eternity. Its 5-shell capacity means you're constantly performing that slow-motion reload animation. As a heavy weapon, it also slows your movement and reduces your jump height unless you invest heavily in Body perks. For a weapon that demands you be in an enemy's face, these are fatal flaws. In 2026, why would anyone use this when Rebecca's Guts from the Edgerunners update exists? That iconic shotgun is a direct upgrade in every single metric: damage, fire rate, feel. The Carnage is a relic.
Speaking of relics, let's talk blunt instruments. The Hammer. Even after Patch 2.1 added some special moves for it, this thing is a stamina-draining paperweight. Its description boasts high damage, but in my testing, it hits with the same force as a basic baseball bat. The difference? The bat doesn't consume half your stamina bar with two swings. The Hammer's attack speed is sluggish, and it imposes the same movement penalties as other heavy weapons. In a melee build where agility and speed are life, equipping The Hammer feels like tying your own legs together. You are objectively better off with any other blunt weapon (except maybe the truly dreadful ones).
Plan B. Looted from the infamous fixer Dexter DeShawn, this iconic pistol has one gimmick: it uses Eurodollars as ammunition. Let that sink in. You literally burn your hard-earned eddies with every trigger pull. In a game where standard pistol ammo is abundant and cheap, this is a solution in search of a problem. Its other stats are mediocre at best—low damage, low attack speed. The larger magazine size doesn't compensate for its overall weakness. I used it for one mission and watched my wallet drain faster than my enemies' health. It's a novelty item, a trophy from a bad man that serves as a constant reminder that some ideas should have stayed on the drawing board. 💸
The Defender light machine gun represents the entire, sad state of LMGs in Night City. Even post-2.1, this weapon class feels neglected. The Defender can't equip a scope, has a painfully long reload, and its accuracy encourages you to get close. But if you're that close, why aren't you using an SMG? An SMG is lighter, reloads faster, and is generally more responsive. You can make the Defender work with perks that mitigate reload speed and increase heavy weapon damage, but the investment required is massive. The payoff? A clunky, slow-firing weapon that other, more elegant builds achieve better results with.
And now, the crown jewel of letdowns: The Cocktail Stick. This iconic katana is, without a doubt, the most stylish weapon to ever disappoint me. It looks incredible—a vibrant, neon-colored blade. Picking it up, I felt like a true Night City legend. Then I used it. It belongs to the low-DPS category of katanas, meaning its damage output is fundamentally lackluster. Its iconic modifier is a cruel joke: it causes prolonged bleeding... but only when optical camo is active. The entire point of a stealth attack with a katana is to instantly kill your target. Why do I need a bleeding effect on a corpse? The bleeding is nullified before it can even tick. It does have a hidden +300% dismemberment chance, which is morbidly fun against regular gangers, but it doesn't work on bosses. In a city where Scalpel or Satori exist, the Cocktail Stick is a fashion accessory, not a weapon.
Finally, we have the king, the undisputed worst: the Slaught-O-Matic. This vending machine disposable pistol is the ultimate joke. A 36-round clip that cannot be reloaded. You use it once and throw it away. Its stats are a masterpiece of terrible design: abysmal damage, snail-like attack speed, and range so short you might as well be throwing the bullets. It exists as a meme, a brutal challenge for masochistic players. I tried it once, for science. It took an entire magazine to down a single scavenger. It is, by a country mile, the worst gun in the game. It perfectly encapsulates a dystopian world where life is cheap and so is the hardware, but using it is an exercise in frustration. Some fans have built entire challenge runs around this atrocity, which speaks more to their patience than the weapon's quality.
In the end, Night City's balance is better than ever. But amidst the shining gems of perfectly tuned weaponry, these duds remain. They are lessons in poor synergy, underwhelming effects, and missed potential. My advice? Appreciate them for their novelty, then drop them in the nearest dumpster. Your trigger finger—and your sanity—will thank you.